I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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