wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
PANTIES FOUND
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