It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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