in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
