so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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