I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
