i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
