doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
