Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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