I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
