Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
