We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Is it because I queefed?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
