please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
