just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
