i think my tv is drunk
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
