Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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