Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
