5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
