I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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