The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
