before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
