Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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