C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
