Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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