God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
