Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
