thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
