i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm always down for nudity.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
