yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
