I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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