he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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