So drunk its hurt
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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