porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize