im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
