would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
