i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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