I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
