Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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