I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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