First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
