his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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