No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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