I used to practice getting hit by cars.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I know her cup size but not her name....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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