Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
