Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
