My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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