dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
