He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
