They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
