Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
do herpes really smell.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
