My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
