And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I want her autograph on my taint
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
