better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The air taste purple.
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