Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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