i already hear my dad disowning me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
