Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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