She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
