Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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