I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
