she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
