did you get engaged???
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize