I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
