What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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