Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
